A really bad week

Been a while since I've been on here. so let's see if I can get through this.

Started off sunday and got a text from a friend. Carl Dunn was killed on his motorcycle last night is all it said. I felt like someone shouved a knife in my chest and twisted it. I could'nt believe what it said so I had to read it several times. Then it started to sink in and I almost had to pull off to the side of the highway. This can't be true Carl's been riding forever. had this bike for a long time. Ran off the road and hit a highway sign. Just north of Platte City. can't really remember much about the rest of the day. Church was long that day it seemed.

Went up tuesday night only a few people that night. private viewing if you wanted. I went to pay respects and view the body. Wish I hadn't thatt's an image I wish I could erase. Problem is I can't I've tried don't want that memory.

wednesday night visitation. closed casket people lined up around the block. That should say something about the kind of man he was has that many friends. went to Palocci's lounge afterwards with a bunch of people told stories about Carl unil early morning hours. I had forgot about a bunch of things until then.

woke up this morning didn't feel real good. been kinda sick to my stomach most of the day. nerves getting the best of me I guess. Laid to rest a really good man today. still can't believe it. This can't be true. Rest in peace Carl you were well loved by many many people. This should'nt happen to someone so young, with a wonderful wife, and a beautiful 8 month old baby girl.

Hey I'm back

Well hav'nt benn here for a while. But here I sit on a sunday night, Emily is laying in bed, And I'm fighting another headache think my blood pressure in going haywire. probably going to have to go in and get checked out.

Emily is on spring break so I get to keep her an extra couple of days. Off work till wednesday. So were going to hang out some more this week. May even brave it out and go to chucky cheese.

Lisa still won't speak to me or see me at all. And she turns 18 on wednesday. That will be a long day I have a feeling. guess it's all her choice now weather she talks to me or not now. don't think there's much I can do about it now but pray.

Starting to get a bit warmer. Be camping and boating weather before you know it. I need to start working on my camper and getting it ready to go. Kinda anxious to use it got it to late last fall and hav'nt even got to stay in it once yet.

nothing much else has changed work, working out, volunteering at the church. and going back to my apartment. thinking about looking into buying a house. Getting tired of listening to people walk around above my head.

well I guess that's about all I got for now. Getting late need to get to bed.

God bless

Keep the faith

Go big red

what a long week

Wow what a week. Been busy at work and that's good, and different. Usually really slow for me. But it's been a week of sleepless or very little sleep. And when you spend that much time laying awake and staring at the cieling and walls you have way to much time to think. Then you start pondering your life, mistakes made. Hoping you don't make the same ones again. You wonder why you've made some of the choices that you've made. You ignore red flags that you see waving in front of you. Telling yourself that those aren't that important you can get over them look past it. Because you want everything to work out ok.

Then I said something to a very close friend this week that I probably should'nt have said. Not trying to cause problems or be mean. Just pointing something out and trying to help. But once again as I have a tendency to do I hear something in my head then when I say it out loud it comes out completely different. And usually wrong.

I think it's time to take a step back. Take a good long hard look. reevaluate ( not sure that's spelled right ) myself and overhaul my whole way of thinking. Time to make some changes to become a better me.

Ok now for a more positive outlook. getting closer to sighning day. Coach polini says NEBRASKA'S defense WILL BE EVEN BETTER next year. And looks like they're going to have a pretty solid recruting class. I'm kinda excited to see how next year will play out. If the offense can play somewhat close to how they played in the holiday bowl. they're going to be really good.

God bless

Keep the faith

GO BIG RED

Good for 6 more months

well how bout that passed my semi annual weld test. No worries till july when I will have to recertify. On the up side reserved my camp spot at perry lake for the fourth of july. I am so ready for summer and so ready to get back on the water.

Get emily tomorrow girl scout cookies on sunday she sold fourteen cases of cookies may take me two full weeks to get all of them delivered. But damn them little girls can make some really good cookies.

Yesterday was 6 tears since we lost dad seems like longer. love you dad miss you and ted more than I can say.

God bless

Keep the faith

GO BIG RED

What an exciting life

Wow what an exciting life I lead here it is saturday night and I'm sitting here alone, in my apartment, with my laptop. Somehow this just aint right. Oh well what's a guy to do. just have to go with the flow.

Been sitting here just wondering, why things are the way they are. Why is everything working out the way it is. what plan does god have for me. Will it ever include someone to share my time with or is this the best it's going get. But then I get upset with myself, I should just have more faith in god. He has a reason for all this and it's not my place to question him. trust in the fact that he has a plan for me, and I have no right to ask him what or why I just need to trust in him. that he will lead me into the direction that I need to go. I just need to listen, keep my eyes, and ears open. recognize the signs, and the signals that he sends me every day. I need to open my heart and give it fully to the lord. strengthen my faith and trust in him. I need to be content with where I am, and realize everything will happen in his time, when he feels I am ready and no sooner. PATIENCE!!!!

the cold sucks but It's supposed to warm up next week. I hate that college football is over. But am looking foward to next year ( already seen a early early prediction for next seasoon cornhuskers preseason # 7 for next year ).

I will promise to keep a positive attitude and outlook. and try to make someone smile every day.

god bless

Keep the faith

GO BIG RED

not going dwell

I'm not going to say a lot about the weather but this sucks. We havn't left the shop in 2 weeks. Except for sunday night when I got called out on an emergency at 11 pm and didn't get back home till 6 pm on monday.



really don't like to see the football season end. Not a basketball fan and now that's all that we'll get to see for college now. still got nfl for a little while. brng on the DAYTONA 500. On the bright side only 100 days 15 hours and 45 minutes till the CORNHUSKERS kick off in the spring game. might have to see about getting tickets and making it a weekend in Lincoln.



Not much else going on still trying to catch up on sleep from sunday night. I've come to the conclusion that I need a beach house in southern florida where I can have a little tiki hut and sell coronas to all the tourists. ( I'd have to keep my bud light stash seperate. )

God bless.
Keep the faith.
Go big red

2010

Well this is new for me. But oh well what the heck new year so I guess It's time to try some new things.

Ok so as we dive into this new year I need to think about what I'm hoping this year brings. First of all happiness not just for me but for all my friends. Computer friends and personal friends as well. Hope you all find the peace and happiness you are looking for.

I need to try to get into a little better shape and do a better job of maintaining and controlling my weight. And that includes being more consistant with my workouts.

As always try to spend time with Emily when I can. And when I can't suround my self with good friends. And who knows maybe along the way I can find a special someone who might like to spend a little time with me.

The lake is a definate must. a little camping, boating, canoeing, and budlight will definately be a must. One thing for sure it will definately be an interesting ride.